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Evan Wolfson Speeches: Gay Pride Shabbat

Congregation Beth Simchat Torah (CBST)

 

It's always sweet to come home to CBST, especially when the prayer liturgy includes Jerry Herman!

Ordinarily when invited to share some thoughts on an occasion such as the 40th Anniversary of Stonewall, I'd be inclined to do a compare and contrast of where we were then and how far we've come since, with 40 years of retrospect and gratitude.

Or I might reflect on lessons and historical markers... for example, how these 40 momentous years divide almost equally into the 20 "pre-marriage" years from 1969-89 when gay people were primarily fighting to be left alone, not criminalized, not pathologized, not attacked – and then the next half, the nearly 20 years of struggle and progress framed by the freedom to marry work, beginning with the Hawaii and DC marriage cases launched in 1990-91.

Of course such a way of dividing the movement's history into those two twenty-year periods would oversimplify.  In fact, gay people have been challenging exclusion from marriage pretty much right since Stonewall.  In fact, the first wave of marriage cases brought by couples in three states came as early as 1971.   

The big difference between the first wave and the second and third waves, of course, was that in the 1980's, the AIDS epidemic shattered the silence about our lives forcing society to see us as partnered, grieving, and injured by discrimination, and prompting us to better understand our vulnerability and our power, and the imperative of fighting for the freedom to marry and the protections, security, and respect we deserve and need. 

In the second 20 years, the years shaped by the crucible of HIV/AIDS and framed by the freedom to marry, our movement claimed the human right not just to be "left alone," but to be "let in."

Yes, ordinarily, an anniversary like this would inspire these kinds of historical reflections and a recap of 40 years of milestones... but the truth is that so much has happened in just the past few months – indeed so much has happened in just the past few weeks, past few days:

• Delaware just become the most recent state to pass a gay rights law
• Nevada's legislature overrode the governor's veto to pass an "all but marriage" law, despite the anti-gay constitutional amendment stampeded through under Bush/Rove
• the federal government officially apologized to gay pioneer Frank Kameny, more than 50 years after he was fired and fought back
• the U.S Conference of Mayors passed a resolution in support of our freedom to marry
• changes of heart in favor of marriage equality came from diverse and surprising new supporters including:

• Republican operative Roger Stone
• Nassau County Executive Tom Suozzi and U.S. Senator Chris Dodd – who each wrote op-eds saying they used to support civil unions and now realized, they were wrong
• and, most strikingly here in New York, the man who singlehandedly blocked our marriage rights last year, former Senate Majority Leader Joe Bruno: "Life is short, and we should all be afforded the same opportunities and rights to enjoy it.  I support the freedom to marry."

Yes, so much is happening around us right now that we can't recap 40 years... we want to, we have to, look forward.

Still, let's do one bit of remembering, stretching back, if we can, past the cascade of advances and chorus of new voices of the moment way back to... last November.

Way back on Nov. 4, we marked Election Day with an almost overwhelming mix of elation and pain.  We thrilled at the historic election of America's first African-American president, the repudiation of the divisive and destructive politics of the past 8 years, and the promise of a country that would move toward the vision we hold.  And that same night, we grieved the blow of California's Prop 8 and the fear it raised that our progress might be stymied.

I take this one look back tonight, because of how all that has played out.

It rapidly transpired that the wonderful federal election results, though still full of promise and meaning, were not self-executing. 

With all that is good and hopeful, we've seen some serious stumbles by the Obama Administration – months of disappointing inaction followed by some very disturbing and intolerable actions in recent days. 

And, fortunately, we've also seen a strong and powerful engagement from our movement to get our work with the White House and Congress back on track in support of the promises President Obama and the Democrats made – and the vision we shared and worked for, a vision I still believe they and we do still share and can realize. 

This pressure, and this partnership, we must continue.

And, conversely, it turned out that the loss in California – unjust, harmful, costly, and frustrating as it continues to be – was not the end of the world.

The vote temporarily stripping away our freedom to marry in California proved to be a wake-up call to the too-many of us, gay and non-gay, who had been distracted, complacent, or inactive, a lesson that while winning is possible, so is losing, and justice does not just waft in on inevitability. 

Far from halting our advance, however, the November loss rapidly gave way to our literally tripling the number of marriage states in a matter of weeks, as we went from 2 to 6, including Iowa in the heartland and 3 states pushing past civil union to full equality in marriage itself, and still others such as New Jersey and the District of Columbia within reach this year.

Of course our work is not done in Maine.  We all need to contribute to Maine Freedom to Marry to defend that victory against the right-wing effort to take it away by another cruel ballot-measure this coming November – and California taught us the importance of early money from people like us.  Go online and do it tonight, as a mitzvah.

And on this Pride Shabbat, the eve of the 7th day, that brings me to what will be the 7th marriage state, now within reach – if we do our reaching.

In one of my favorite quotes, one politician once said of a fellow senator that, "Like a rotten mackerel by moonlight, he shines and stinks.” 

New York's State Senate still has a chance to shine.   But if we want to win, we need to make it happen with persistent, repeated calls to key senators demanding that they bring the New York freedom to marry bill to a vote, and pass it.

So this Pride weekend, celebrate, march, speak out, and remember – and also donate to Maine, phone or call New York's Senators through prideagenda.org.

And starting Monday and in the days and weeks ahead, make a personal commitment to talk with your friends and family and co-workers, and circles.  Talk about why marriage matters, and how how you personally care and ask them to take action. 

No more Prop 8's.

We don't need to spend another 40 years at this.

The freedom to marry is within our reach, right here in New York, right now – and when we win it, we New Yorkers will, as we did at Stonewall 40 years ago, make our country a better place, and move and mend the world.